Raising successful black boys alone, but not without help

David Miller is a man on a mission. Simply put, he wants single mothers who are raising sons to know they're not alone.  So former public school teacher - a co-founder of the youth-focused Urban Leadership Institute in Baltimore - has developed an ambitious national campaign called "Raising Him Alone." It's designed to help single mothers and their sons by providing a network of resources, advocacy and access to community-based services.  Since launching the initiative back in April, Miller has reached out to predominately African American audiences across the country, via workshops, seminars, online initiatives and more. Several celebrity moms have joined the crusade, including Dr. Mahalia Hines, a Chicago educator whose son is the rapper/actor, Common; and Sheron Smith, mother of entertainer, Mos Def.

"The experience has been fulfilling, but extremely alarming ... An inordinate number of women are raising boys alone. Their sons have no contact with their fathers, or the contact is sporadic or minimal at best."  "It's very difficult for a woman to raise a boy to be a man," he says, acknowledging that there are exceptions. "A boy has to be around good men for that to happen." 

While mentoring is one way to expose young men to positive male role models, says Miller, he believes the best approach is more broad-based - with the `village' helping to raise the child.  "The reality is, there aren't enough mentors to go around, and some don't have the right intentions," he says, stressing that single mothers must be mindful about whom they allow to form bonds with their kids.

Miller urges mothers to cast a wide net of support at church, school, and throughout the community: "Find several men who can informally mentor and hold ongoing talks about peer pressure, staying in school and so on."  The "Raising Him Alone" campaign - along with a new companion book by the same name that Miller has co-authored with Matt Stevens - offers single moms both resources and strategies. Topics range from how to properly advocate for a child who's been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder, to re-establishing ties with absent fathers. (To that end, the team is already in the process of developing the next phase of the initiative, called "Changing Fatherhood" along with a stand-alone website.)